The Adopted Birthmom

Dumb Letter 2020

I just wrote my dumb letter for 2020. I do this exercise in futility every year, hoping for a different outcome every time. I spend days carefully crafting each sentence, replacing words if they seem too direct, too demanding, too pathetic. I reread it and sit with it for weeks, too afraid to put my… Continue reading Dumb Letter 2020

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A Childless Mother

I remember sitting in my bedroom, the small room smooshed between the small living room in front and the small kitchen in back. I remember sobbing uncontrollably, holding my round belly with both hands, caressing my little one while she dozed in her peaceful bed. Continue reading A Childless Mother

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Dear Birthmother

Dear Birthmother, We are more equipped to raise your baby than you are. We have more money and more love to give. You can fill a hole in our lives by ripping one in your heart. And you will do it because you are desperate. You are a pawn on our chess board, and you… Continue reading Dear Birthmother

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Dumb Letters…and Cookies

I sent this year’s dumb letter in the mail yesterday. It was probably the lamest dumb letter I’ve written them, especially compared to last year’s emotional keening about Summer’s Middle Eastern roots and the fears I have for her in Trump’s Muslim-hating America. I should have known better than to get emotional – they didn’t… Continue reading Dumb Letters…and Cookies

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My Heroes

I can’t discuss my heroes without also discussing adoption. For me, the two are inextricably linked. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s funny, in the adoption world there really are no rules or solid expectations because no two stories are the same. Even the stories experienced and told by siblings differ. There… Continue reading My Heroes

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