I remember sitting in my bedroom, the small room smooshed between the small living room in front and the small kitchen in back. I remember sobbing uncontrollably, holding my round belly with both hands, caressing my little one while she dozed in her peaceful bed.
I sent this year's dumb letter in the mail yesterday. It was probably the lamest dumb letter I’ve written them, especially compared to last year’s emotional keening about Summer’s Middle Eastern roots and the fears I have for her in Trump’s Muslim-hating America. I should have known better than to get emotional – they didn’t… Continue reading Dumb Letters…and Cookies
I’m in it right now. It’s not words – there aren’t even words to describe it or personify it or explain it, really. But words are all I have for expression, so I’ll try. I feel flat: without shape or depth. I feel numb: without feeling or heart. I feel empty: without substance or worth.… Continue reading In It: Feeling Adoption Loss at Christmastime