I just wrote my dumb letter for 2020. I do this exercise in futility every year, hoping for a different outcome every time. I spend days carefully crafting each sentence, replacing words if they seem too direct, too demanding, too pathetic. I reread it and sit with it for weeks, too afraid to put my… Continue reading Dumb Letter 2020
I sent this year's dumb letter in the mail yesterday. It was probably the lamest dumb letter I’ve written them, especially compared to last year’s emotional keening about Summer’s Middle Eastern roots and the fears I have for her in Trump’s Muslim-hating America. I should have known better than to get emotional – they didn’t… Continue reading Dumb Letters…and Cookies
I’m in it right now. It’s not words – there aren’t even words to describe it or personify it or explain it, really. But words are all I have for expression, so I’ll try. I feel flat: without shape or depth. I feel numb: without feeling or heart. I feel empty: without substance or worth.… Continue reading In It: Feeling Adoption Loss at Christmastime
We've all heard it: a picture says a thousand words. But what are those words? It's easy to assume that those words are the thoughts you have about the picture, but that's not the case. Everyone who looks at a picture will imbue it with their personal views, their experiences, their biases, their emotions. The… Continue reading The Thousand Words of a Picture
This is what it is to be a birthmother: to love someone who doesn't even know you exist.
